Friday, 21 January 2011

Future Prospects

OK so this may turn into either a list of what I'm going to be doing soon or a list of what I'd like to be doing or maybe a bit of both we'll see. 

So tomorrow I will be meeting my friend Marie and her two friends Rosanna and Kay ( who I've never met before but I'm sure shes going to be lovely! )
If we are still doing tomorrow then its a meet up and a trip to nando's then I'm not sure where after. 

Tomorrow afternoon I'm going to view two flats a 2 bed and a 3 bed so hopefully that is still happening and that the 3 bed is in good condition and a nice flat because that could end up being our new home. Seeing as we have had so many problems with this flat and this time around we are buying the place I really want to get as much right as possible so that means, location location location!, a good size and definitely 2 beds at the least, preferably gas central heating but we can't win em all and a garden would be ideal but once again we can't have everything we want oh and parking has to be fairly decent!! But we arn't rich so getting everthing isnt going to happen (not in London anyway) 

So next I have been thinking about this for such a long time and have always been way too scared also money has been abit of an issue seeing as I don't really have any and that's not such a good idea to be chucking money at this. But I would love to get a tattoo my bf has told me no but its my body and my life I don't really know why I let him make so many desicions for me.  

Just something to get me started

So I'm not always into these things and never really seem to be able to keep anything like this going properly. I guess this is just something i can moan to without people saying I'm moaning too much, I actually really need something right now that i can just go on and on about random useless rubbish. My head has alittle too much going on in it at the moment I can't really tell my bf because we will argue or he apparently already knows i hate going round my parents just to moan because they probably really hate to see my so down ugh its such a mess. When I see my friends which is hardly ever I don't exactly just wanna go on to them the whole time whats the point I cherish that little bit of time I have with them because I just don't know when I'll get to see them again. Honestly I am waffling right now and not that I think anyone will really be reading this is they did they'd most likely have stopped by now. I'm not a bad person maybe abit lazy and lacking quite abit of confidence I'm not proud of how I am and what I do which is nothing I do try and look for work I always am yet no luck i apply for loads of stuff but usually theres no reply. I wouldn't mind but I'm hardly applying for a job in NASA or something just a regular shop job or supermarket job. I could have done better I could have done alot better and I do feel like I've let my parents down abit but theres still time and some hope for me. I wrote that like I'm a criminal that just can't stop breaking the law or something when all I am is a young woman trying to find work, a life, a sense of being. Trying to find happiness. Things are so dark for me at the moment I can't seem to see a clearing yet but it will happen, I've got moving stress, finding a place, and really I've got a few things to sort out with my bf because its on thin ice right now. All this post and I guess this blog mostly is for me to get some stuff of my chest and out of my head so I can feel alittle better.