Just something to get me started

So I'm not always into these things and never really seem to be able to keep anything like this going properly. I guess this is just something i can moan to without people saying I'm moaning too much, I actually really need something right now that i can just go on and on about random useless rubbish. My head has alittle too much going on in it at the moment I can't really tell my bf because we will argue or he apparently already knows i hate going round my parents just to moan because they probably really hate to see my so down ugh its such a mess. When I see my friends which is hardly ever I don't exactly just wanna go on to them the whole time whats the point I cherish that little bit of time I have with them because I just don't know when I'll get to see them again. Honestly I am waffling right now and not that I think anyone will really be reading this is they did they'd most likely have stopped by now. I'm not a bad person maybe abit lazy and lacking quite abit of confidence I'm not proud of how I am and what I do which is nothing I do try and look for work I always am yet no luck i apply for loads of stuff but usually theres no reply. I wouldn't mind but I'm hardly applying for a job in NASA or something just a regular shop job or supermarket job. I could have done better I could have done alot better and I do feel like I've let my parents down abit but theres still time and some hope for me. I wrote that like I'm a criminal that just can't stop breaking the law or something when all I am is a young woman trying to find work, a life, a sense of being. Trying to find happiness. Things are so dark for me at the moment I can't seem to see a clearing yet but it will happen, I've got moving stress, finding a place, and really I've got a few things to sort out with my bf because its on thin ice right now. All this post and I guess this blog mostly is for me to get some stuff of my chest and out of my head so I can feel alittle better.